[CAN] 20-22 Currie St | 123m | 31lvls | Office

[Howie]

Nice one Shuz. Minor point... Is this going to the minister? If so it should be Dear/To Honourable Minister Conlon rather than Sir.

[Professor]

Good submission. I think that this kind of promotional and lobying activity certainly helps and also can influence politicians.

I would also send it to the treasurer and premier, just to make sure that the message gets there. but would not expect any support from JayLo.

The developer also needs to get moving as well to present a good business case that construction can start immediately, prime location, landmark building etc etc.

[MaximumForce]

On behalf of us at the internet-based community forum,

maybe change to "On behalf the internet-based community forum," Apart from that well done. Length is good and points are brought accross quickly enough.

[Wayno]

Good submission. I think that this kind of promotional and lobying activity certainly helps and also can influence politicians.

I would also send it to the treasurer and premier, just to make sure that the message gets there. but would not expect any support from JayLo.

The developer also needs to get moving as well to present a good business case that construction can start immediately, prime location, landmark building etc etc.

perhaps we should send a copy to the Developer/Agent? we are almost acting like a dating service!

[nimeton]

A very crappy write up taken about 15 minutes. This should be the gist of the final submission...

Dear Sir,

On behalf of us at the internet-based community forum, Sensational-Adelaide we wish to advise you in your consideration for the relocation of the Department of Energy, Transport and Infrastructure Headquarters to the Adelaide CBD.

In hindsight, we greatly applaud your sensible logic to relocate all of the DTEI staff to a central city location, precisely the functional centre of where all business and commerce occurs. This is one of many steps, which promotes a sustainable and sensible logic towards centralizing business operations throughout the wider community, both public and private.

The importance in focusing on a central locality ties in effectively in promoting a healthy message in the name of urban planning and development. Shifting operations away from suburban and campus-style developments highlights your attitude seriously in combating suburban sprawl, reducing traffic congestion, promoting usage of public transport through sustainable development. By discouraging other businesses from doing so, and establishing or relocating to a central locality signifies the Government’s appropriate approach and measures undertaken by acting as a leader.

That being said, it is crucial to maintain an informative and positive identity of the State’s wellbeing, particularly during times of significant economic growth. The tender put forth by …. Architects, to construct the 20-22 Currie Street tower is a symbolic tower, highlighting the transformation of the perception of the State from its hardship in the 1990’s, to its revolutionary and progressive era today. The State Government, and the DTEI should always act as a leader in promoting prosperity, and through relocating the department’s headquarters into this symbolic tower, acting as a landmark for the city’s skyline, would drastically alter the perception amongst locals and interstate people, to shun the reputation of Adelaide as a country town, to a urbanized and progressive city in the 21st century.

To take advantage of an informative note, the last 100m+ skyscraper built in Adelaide was the State Bank – also a Government project, back in 1988. It has taken 20 years before such a reality could occur again, and now more than ever, is the time to capitalize on the opportunity by securing the DTEI’s tenancy to this landmark tower.

The publicity surrounding such a move can only have positive effects, transforming perception, enhancing business prosperity and reconfiguring the Adelaide skyline with a landmark tower, not seen in 20 years.

SensationalAdelaide

The contents of your letter is good but when dealing with Ministerial offices, be careful regarding how you word it. My suggestions:

It is not a good idea to come across as presumptuous and you don't want to tell the Minister how to do their job. Therefore, I would take out the line "we wish to advise you" and replace it with "we wish to suggest" or "we strongly feel this makes logical sense because..." Also, this line "The State Government, and the DTEI should always act as a leader"... Tone it down a bit and strongly suggest, or persuade, don't tell.

It may also help to make reference to how this project ties into the state strategic plan and the objectives of the department... I don't know what specifically, I haven't don't the research but it would help to make reference to such policies.

Also, somewhere in there give a bit more background about sensational adelaide. EG: A local community forum representing "X" number of locals. or "X" number of people have commented in favour of this issue. It might even be sufficient to simply represent Sensational Adelaide as simply a 'community group' rather than an 'internet based forum'... Community group has a bit more credibility, but that definition is up to you guys, i suppose.

Lastly, end the letter with a feel good line such as "I thank you in advance for your consideration of our correspondence. We look forward to your feedback. " Something like that as manners never go astray.

Also, use a name when signing the letter. EG:

Joe Bloggs
(on Behalf of) Sensational Adelaide

or
Joe Bloggs
Co-ordinator
Sensational Adelaide


Minister Conlon's address is:

Hon. Patrick Conlon MP
Minister for Transport
GPO Box 2969
ADELAIDE SA 5001

I would also CC copies to the Premier and Minister Holloway

Hon. Mike Rann MP
Premier of South Australia
GPO Box 2343
ADELAIDE SA 5001

Hon. Paul Holloway MLC
Minister for Urban Development and Planning
GPO Box 2832
ADELAIDE SA 5001

[how_good_is_he]

I believe the key to leasing this building and therefore getting it built will be carparking. Does anybody know how many carparks are proposed or how many floors underground this goes?

[Will]

Good work Shuz, that is a pretty good letter. However I think that the letter could be enhanced by mentioning how the state government has in the past shown the vision and leadership to make visionary proposals such as this a reality. For example, it was the state government's pre-commitment of 10 000m2 of CCT1 which allowed it to go ahead. Furthermore it would be a good idea to point out how 20-22 Currie Street is in the 'City-West' precinct the state government wants to revitalize. Unlike the Planet site tower, and the western tower of Aurora on Pirie.

[Omicron]

I believe the key to leasing this building and therefore getting it built will be carparking. Does anybody know how many carparks are proposed or how many floors underground this goes?

The carpark takes up part of levels 1 to 4 and has 172 spaces, and there's a bike storage area with 200 spaces.

[Pistol]

Nice work Shuz.
Should we do a quick poll so we can add some statistics to the letter?

ie. 987 members of the sensational-adelaide community group are in favor...

[Wayno]

Nice work Shuz.
Should we do a quick poll so we can add some statistics to the letter?

ie. 987 members of the sensational-adelaide community group are in favor...

perhaps better for those opposed to make themselves known right now - and state reasons please so we can understand and learn...anonymous surveys don't really cut it...

[Shuz]

Wow, didnt expect such a positive repsonse (I thought it was fairly crap myself, but again I do hold myself to very high standards) I also greatly appreciate the criticsm - trust me, I need it as much as I can to make it better, after all it is a group effort!

I'll see how I go with another update by tonight, if not, definetly by tomorrow afternoon.

[Wayno]

Wow, didnt expect such a positive repsonse (I thought it was fairly crap myself, but again I do hold myself to very high standards) I also greatly appreciate the criticsm - trust me, I need it as much as I can to make it better, after all it is a group effort!

I'll see how I go with another update by tonight, if not, definetly by tomorrow afternoon.

good man.

[Shuz]

Updated, just download the file below.

[Omicron]

Updated, just download the file below.

English Teacher Omi casts thine eye over ye draft, and the results lie in thy document below:

[nimeton]

Updated, just download the file below.

English Teacher Omi casts thine eye over ye draft, and the results lie in thy document below:

Shuz and Omicron's versions are becoming very decent. Just a few minor suggestions based on Omicron's corrections:


Dear Minister,


We, the membership of internet-based community forum, Sensational Adelaide, wish to support the relocation of the Department of Energy, Transport and Infrastructure (DETI) headquarters to the Adelaide CBD.

[Changed greeting as it was way over the top, took out capital letter, added abbreviation]

Furthermore, the 20-22 Currie Street tower lies within the City West locality, an area which the State Government has focused on revitalising with new opportunities for development.

[removed capital letter]

It is now perceived as an iconic tower within the Adelaide skyline, and with the 20-22 Currie Street Tower, the opportunity again exists to pre-commit to a proposal worthy of becoming a reality.

[removed capital letter]

Once again, we strongly suggest that the State Government consider the many merits of relocating DTEI to the Adelaide CBD.

Thank you in advance for your consideration of our correspondence. We eagerly await your positive response.

Yours sincerely,

Blah.

CC: Hon. Blah Blah
Hon. Blah Blah

[reworded to reiterate what we are asking the minister to do, if you decide to send to more than one minster, then make it obvious. ie; add cc to bottom]